Sunday, May 31, 2009
The taste of you still lingers on my breath, my skin like ice where your hands used to rest. Distance has made me grow cold, shivering under the thin film of your presence that dwells on the air. It has become stale, yet I still try to breathe you and draw you deep into my being- fill myself with life, I once used to know how that felt.
Now my laugh sounds unfamiliar even to my own ears, it is forced and broken. I have become nothing but a hollow entity buying time trying to please others. Ever so caring and always hurt in return. I am their puppet, they muse themselves with me until the novelty wears off and I become old and boring. They say jump, I ask how high, all in a bid to keep their dishonest hearts happy.
Hazily I remember the days when happiness consumed me, now it is nothing but cheap wine and a packet of cigarettes, numbness is happiness, right?
Thoughts of you intoxicate me, love drunk I weep for all my loss. The way you looked at me as if no one else existed placed a lock on my heart. Unaware I am your prisoner, you are slowly killing me. Of course that isn’t your fault, I’m the mess.
Before I slowly drift into an endless oblivion, the only thing I want to remember is you and if ‘God’ should be so cruel as to make me enter this same void again, the only thing I want to recognise is you.
Nobody else mattered, but you did not see that, no one understood.
So close my eyes and kiss me softly, you will not see this haunted face again. My eyes will no longer reveal my secrets.